Priorities

I recently took this Tibetan personality test on-line and came out with some interesting results that really made me think. One set of results came out with me rating my career as my last priority. The interesting thing is that this result really didn't surprise me and that made me think about why?

I love what I do--being a massage therapist and reiki master/teacher. I was recently asked "if you could do anything, without failure and with unlimited resources, what would it be?" And, much to my delight, my answer was "exactly what I'm doing now." I asked myself that same question 5 years ago as I left my corporate job...and here I am! I have diligently put one foot in front of the other, maintaining my faith during the challenging times, always knowing that this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Yet I realized that it's not about my career. I am so thankful that this is what I get to do to make money, but as far as priorities go--it's about the relationships. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to be in so many people's lives, or to have so many wonderful people in mine. (I'd like to say to have a positive influence, although I'm sure that's not always the case--but we grow from all experiences, right?) Through massage, reiki, teaching, conversations, laughter...and I'm beginning to see that expanding far beyond my career; I could be doing that in any career and with anyone--friends, family, strangers, clients, coworkers, etc.

Any interaction with another being gives me the chance to share love, compassion, understanding and peace. So really, it's relationships that surround all of my priorities--even above and beyond "pride"--which incidentally came out as my first priority--but that's a whole other blog!

The Wind

I'm sitting outside this morning, so grateful that the heat of the past few days has subsided a bit. Nature is my most favorite place to practice presence--to move out of my mind and into feeling the energy of my body through being completely aware of my senses. There is so much to absorb. Sounds of the birds, the wind, the crickets, the cars driving by, the bees buzzing around flowers. Sight of the leaves and branches twisting, turning and dancing as the breeze picks up; cardinals, blue jays, robins flying about; the many shades of green from grass to flowers to trees; the vibrant blue of a cloudless sky. The way the wind feels as it gently caresses my skin; the coolness of the shade and the warmth of the sun. The smell of freshly cut lawn as the breeze carries it over from the neighbors yard.

And all the while, I'm drawn to the wind. I'm sure there's some scientific explanation as to how and why it works...but I much prefer the mystery of it all. It fascinates me that you can't actually see the wind, only the effects of it. I am in awe of how something that can't be seen can be so gentle and yet so powerful at times; how the absence of wind can make a hot day more stifling or a cold day less bitter; how it can cause massive destruction or be harnessed to move a boat, fly a kite, or light a city. Oh, and of course, how it spreads the seeds of the much loved dandelion! ;-)

Tall Tales of the Mind

Amidst my judgements about life, my mind also seems to have this way of taking a situation, a look, someone's words or lack of words, etc. and making up a story about it. Sometimes I think it's just what we do, what our minds do, as an attempt to function in this world. But it has become so apparent to me recently how the mind chooses to make up stories around an event that are rarely fun & beneficial! More often then not, these stories lead to anxiety, drama, miscommunication and resentment.

Let me give you an example: I was in art class one day in elementary school. The teacher was explaining some project we would be working on when I randomly felt this shooting pain in my thumb that was gone as fast as it came, but I know I made a grimaced face as I reacted to it. The teacher, upon seeing my face, reprimanded me for treating her that way. In her mind, I had made a face in response to what she was saying! And I tried to explain--because I loved that art teacher and would never have done something like that! But it was too late-her story was already true and there was nothing I could say to change it-and obviously, to this day, I still think about it.

So I consider how often I do this to others...Someone hasn't called for a while-did I offend them? They sounded a little curt on the phone-did I say something wrong? That email was very direct and to the point-what did I do? They're late-don't they respect me? They didn't rebook-was it a bad treatment? They didn't thank me-do they even care? There's this tendency to judge every situation and turn it into being about me. It's interesting as I become more aware, recognizing my own stories and those of others, how often what I'm reacting to actually has nothing to do with me!

So what are the stories you're telling yourself right now?