ugh. I do not like oatmeal. I know this about myself, but for some reason I keep trying to like it. And don't tell me I should try the steel-cut or whatever other types are out there that are "so different". Believe me, I've tried them all and it doesn't matter. I can't quite say why I don't like it. It's not completely repulsive or anything. I can eat it if I have to. It's not a texture thing; I've tried flavoring it, cooking it different ways. I just don't like oatmeal. Well, except for oatmeal cookies and apple crisp ;) Anyway...
I'm getting comfortable with accepting this in myself, or at least I think I am. I seem to go through phases. After I haven't had it in a while, I see it there in the cupboard and I think "hmm, oatmeal...maybe I should try that again." Because I'm supposed to like it, right? Oatmeal contains so many health benefits. Eating it was like number 1 on the list of things to do from the naturopath I started seeing a few years ago. And I consider myself a fairly health-conscious person. I should definitely like oatmeal. I become determined. I will make myself like oatmeal! Maybe if I put more milk in it and cook it less time so it's not mushy; maybe adding some of the honey from my parent's hives; maybe some fruit; maybe... I can't tell you how thrilled I was when I went gluten free, since oatmeal is on the questionable list. See, my body was trying to tell me something...that's why I didn't like oatmeal. So that was my out for a while. Of course, then I discovered there was gluten-free oatmeal. great. And yes, I tried it again and still didn't like it. For the love of god, why am i trying so hard to force myself to like something that I just don't like because I think I'm supposed to?
Quite an analogy for a few things in my life, this idea of forcing myself to like or do something because I think I'm supposed to. I think that if I can just think hard enough I can figure it out, I can make it work. There was this simple little exercise I did at a conference recently: Point to yourself - take your index finger and point to yourself. Where did you point? At your heart, right? Most people, when asked to point at themselves, point to their heart area, not their head. My thoughts, my brain, is not who I am. When I truly settle into my heart center, into my feelings, into listening to what my body is telling me, the path becomes quite clear. And ultimately I feel more at peace. It is taking a lot of practice to leave the thoughts of my brain and listen to the wisdom of my heart. I am learning to love myself enough to listen to that intuitive guidance. I am learning to love myself enough to make healthy choices that are right for me. I am learning to love myself enough to not eat oatmeal.
