Making Room for the New

Funny how life presents to me a message multiple times over just to make sure I get it...sometimes all within the same day! I guess this goes back to one of my former posts about how God speaks to us in so many different ways. My horoscope one day last week said "...make symbolic gestures, like cleaning out your closet, that signal to the universe that you're making room for the new." The Sacred Path card I pulled later that morning was the Give-Away Ceremony..."don't get stuck holding on to anything that no longer serves you. Associates, ideas, habits, and belongings may need to go at this time." Later that day, in conversation, a friend mentioned "you can't have it all...where would you put it?" And in one of the A Course in Miracles readings it spoke of releasing our limited thinking. I get it, I get it!!!

This idea of releasing in order to make room for the new is so powerful to me. Trees release their old leaves each fall to make room for the birth of new ones in the spring and snakes grow out of their old skin as they grow into the new. The natural world, of which we are a part, is a constant ebb and flow of change and stability, chaos and order. So I begin to feel...what do I need to release? Clean out? What am I holding on to that no longer serves me? How can I make room for the new?

I started a list of some of the things I want to release...thoughts like fear, worry, need for control, judgments, self-imposed limitations, etc; and things...clothing, books, "stuff". Sometimes the lists help me to make the intangible things, like thoughts and ideas, a little more tangible. Then I can take that piece of paper and, in my own little ritual, burn it in order to symbolically release all those ideas that no longer serve me. In this way I make room for more peace, clarity, vision, freedom, love, presence and awareness. As far as the "stuff"? Well, now it's time to get to that closet...blahhhh! :)

Thoughts From the Bowling Alley

I went bowling the other evening...real bowling, not Wii bowling and not 10-pin...Candlepin! Usually, the first string is just a warm up, but by the second string I'm prepared...I focus holding the bowling ball right, keeping my hand and wrist straight, lining my release up with those little arrows, centering...and I always seem to do worse! So I decide to just 'roll' with it because it's about having fun, right? As I look down the lane at the pins, I notice their reflective glow on the polished floor and decide to change tactics. I forget about all the other little details and just focus on those pins, my attention solely on the one I want to connect with. Magic! And I suddenly feel inspired...when I keep my sights on my desired goal, without getting hung up in trying to figure out all the little details, life seems to work a magic all it's own in getting me there.

A few years ago, when I was first starting out as a Massage Therapist and Reiki Practitioner, I sat down and wrote a list of all the things I wanted in a job. I didn't limit myself...what would I want if I could have everything I wanted? I included the physical/tangible aspects of the job and the spiritual and emotional components. I filled the paper and then put it away. The spa I began working in closed after only 7 months of being open. However, it was only through working there, the people I met and its closing, that I was led to working at The Reiki Room. A few months later I found that list again (about a year after I'd written it) and realized quite joyously that everything had come to fruition! I didn't force those details, I didn't negotiate for them. I let the universe know what I desired and left the details up to something greater.

There was a freeness to this experience for me. I don't have to control every aspect of my life. In fact, when I try to, I tend to lose sight of the magic and mystery of life. I envision my desired outcome and then allow the path to unfold before me. It doesn't happen immediately, and sometimes the route seems longer, but the patience is worth it!

An Eagle's View

I recently spent an evening in Boston on the 50th floor of the Prudential Center. What a breathtaking view! The city takes on a whole new appearance at night from this height. As Ron said, "Boston looks clean from up here." Removed from the hustle and bustle, from traffic jams and trash...we were looking down upon twinkling stars of streetlamps and headlights, the glow of lighted windows, rivers of highways, and the dark stillness of the Charles (while "love that dirty water" played appropriately in the background!)

And it got me to thinking about how important it is to occasionally rise above the daily grind of life. It can be so easy for me to get caught up in what I perceive as the problems that make life a little "dirty". From up here, all those things look so little...from up here, even the traffic jams look beautiful! This is the medicine of Eagle. Eagle is a "symbol of greater sight and perception." They feed themselves from the land, but still soar to great heights. Eagle teaches us to "broaden our sense of self beyond the horizon of what is presently visible." [Animal Speak by Ted Andrews; Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams & David Carson]

I certainly can't spend all my time up here. There is a wide spectrum of experiences to be had...all the things from life on this earth that feed me. But in the midst of some of the more frustrating ones, rising above for a bit helps me to gain a new perspective; to come to appreciate every experience for the beauty inherent in it, even if I can't always see it from close up. Even the view from the Prudential is just a small reminder of a much bigger picture!

Dare To Be Imperfect

Somewhere along the journey of my life I've picked up this idea that there is a "right" way to do everything. And in my mind, this right way seems to always elude me in the moment. So I am left consumed with the past...I should've said this or said it this way, or I should've done that or done it that way...the perfect way. It's like a game my mind plays with itself because no matter what I do, it always tells me there was a better, more perfect way to have done it. Yikes!

A friend of mine owns a store where she sells crystals and gemstones. It's my favorite place to go when I want to treat myself. What has fascinated me about her is that she loves the stones that have little "imperfections" in them...inclusions, discolorations, nicks and scratches. And I've started to see the beauty in this as well. How each little "imperfection" gives that stone its own personality and magic and in a sense, makes it perfect.

So I am daring to be imperfect. I am choosing to accept what I perceive as my imperfections, to live in the now, and to stop analyzing everything because it's quite exhausting! Maybe perfection only exists within embracing the imperfections in life...and I know there is a perfect way to end this blog, but it's eluding me right now! :)

Creative Possibilities

I couldn't sleep last night so I got up around midnight, pulled out my sketch book and opened my box of pastels. My favorite way to draw is to have no expectations of what I want the final piece to look like; maybe an inspiration, but no desired outcome, no particular image, no preconceived idea of how I think it should be in the end. I stare at the paper for a bit as I allow myself to fully feel the anticipation of creation, the excitement of all the possibilities that could exist upon that blank page. I am still for a moment, breathing and releasing thought from my mind until I am ready to reach for the first color.

This drawing for me is never so much about the end product as it is about the magnificence of being completely present in the moment. The vividness of bold colors, the scent of the chalk, the subtle vibration and sound of it gliding over the paper, that chalky feel on my fingertips, and the heightened awareness inherent in allowing the images to unfold as I draw. The best part is that it's not possible to make a mistake...I can create anything I want with this piece of paper and chalk! The only rule is to let my heart guide me; to feel the energy of creation extend from the center of my being, down my arms, to my hands, out through the chalk and onto the paper. From there, I create one step at a time. And even when the basic outlines and shapes are finished, the image will continue to change and shift as I start shading and blending the lines and colors.

And then I start to think...with so much possibility in this 9x12 piece of paper and 24 colors of chalk...imagine the creative possibilities that exist in my life!

The Sound of Silence

Today I would change Khalil Gibran's quote to "Forget not that the the virgin snow longs to be graced with your footsteps and the descending snowflakes long to melt upon the warmth of your skin." I am still a child when it comes to my excitement about snow, especially towards the beginning of winter. I can recall hours of sledding and playing in the woods on those blessed days that school was cancelled! My favorite thing to do was find one of those evergreen trees where the branches were weighted down by snow and crawl underneath...it was like my own secret little fort hidden away from the rest of the world. And then we'd come in to remove our snow gear in front of the roaring wood stove while mom prepared soup and hot chocolate for us. :)

There is something about being in the woods when snow blankets the ground...a peacefulness hard to come by sometimes in daily life. It feels like everything has stopped for that moment in time. It's the sound of silence that opens your perception up to deeper awareness and the ability to be present. The way branches of trees look highlighted with a layer of snow; the prickly feel of snowflakes landing on your face and quickly melting; the tapping as they hit your jacket; the distant cry of a bird; the silent sound of the snow itself drifting from the sky...I don't know how to describe it...it just is. And then the exploring...a snow covered ground in the woods allows you more freedom to explore off the beaten path. And I think that expands awareness as well...anytime you're outside the "comfort zone" of what you "know" leads to heightened awareness of your senses. That's why it's so invigorating!

I am reminded of a quote my Grandpa Allen shared with me once when I was much younger (sometime before 5th grade). This quote has stuck with me my whole life; I will never forget it and hope that on some level I live my life by it. "Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

All the While

I am so happy that Fall is here. I love this time of year! September will always be the time of new beginnings for me; too many years of starting a new school year I guess. I'm feeling renewed, especially with some cooler weather, but realizing how long it's been since I've been inspired to write. My last post before today was July 16th!

Clearly, this means that I have not spent enough time outdoors recently, since nature is my best inspiration. And this has been pointed out to me in a couple of indirect ways. I've had a difficult time sleeping the past few weeks and it was suggested to me that I should walk around outside, barefoot for about a half-hour each day. Something about how static electricity builds up in our systems and walking barefoot outside discharges it. Then I came across this quote in two different places over the course of a couple days: "Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair" -Kahlil Gibran.

How beautiful is that! I can no longer ignore the message as it's being so clearly presented to me. And as I stepped outside this evening to pot my spider plants I breathed in the cool, moist air; I felt the dampness of the earth on my feet as I stepped from the driveway onto the lawn; I listened to the songs of the crickets fill the air; and I simply felt alive!

Thankfulness

I've always liked the idea of the "gratitude stone"...keep it in your pocket and everytime you feel it there, think of something you're grateful for. Or even my gratitude journal...writing down 5 things each day that I was thankful for. Recently, however, I've decided to try something a little different.

I started some laundry the other day and as I looked down at the 4 loads to be done, I felt a sense of dread...doing the laundry isn't so much the problem as folding it is! And suddenly this thought popped into my head, this feeling of gratitude consumed me. I felt thankful that we have the clothes to create this laundry; that we have a washer and dryer; that I have a loving husband whose laundry I get to do; that I can be here to help Gram with her's; and I just let those thoughts keep flowing. I felt so good doing laundry that night, that I have decided to apply this exercise to all my "little" chores.

Today I went grocery shopping alone! On the drive I thought about how grateful I was to have a vehicle to drive to the store; to have money to buy groceries; to be able to provide healthy, delicious meals for Ron and Gram; to have had three excellent cooks in our family who taught me (thanks Mom, Dad & Gram!). Even cleaning the bathroom this evening...I can't even express how thankful I am that Ron and I have our own beautiful bathroom now; for my dad who is such an incredible handyman that he did most of it himself; for indoor plumbing and hot showers!

I feel over-joyed with the blessings of this life...maybe chores aren't so much fun, but the life that surrounds having those chores is beautiful. Or maybe I'm just trying to psych myself up for folding all that laundry now...!

Rainbows

As I watered our outdoor flowers yesterday evening, I felt like a fascinated child as I created rainbows with the water. I didn't go out with the intention of doing this. I just happened to glimpse a rainbow in the spraying water that disappeared as quickly as it appeared. So I started playing with the water, shifting it until it caught the light of the setting sun in just the perfect way to create a rainbow. And I smiled--ahh, simple pleasures.

So this morning I'm thinking about how much joy and beauty we can create in our lives by just a simple shift--a shift in our mind, our thoughts. Transformation in our lives begins within. I'm recognizing that if I rely on my outer circumstances to create my inner state, then I subject myself to an endless rollercoaster ride of ups and downs. But if I shift my focus to all I am grateful for in life, to joy and love, not only do my outer circumstances begin to reflect that, but I also find a deeper strength to walk through the challenging times.

Some days, finding those things I'm grateful for are more difficult than others so I rely on the basics--oxygen, nature, car, house, health. For a while, I kept a gratitude journal--listing 5 things at the end of each day I was grateful for. Or I'll keep a stone in my pocket--a gratitude stone--so each time I sense it or feel it, I think of something (or someone!) I'm grateful for. My husband has started a new tradition at dinner--last night, as we were eating, he asked "so what was good that happened for you today?" So me, Ron, and Gram enjoyed our meal talking about the positive things we felt in our lives that day. Sometimes it's not that the "negative" doesn't exist; it's not about denying it or resisting it. It's simply a choice of where to place our focus. We're choosing to cultivate the energy of joy so it's light may illuminate the darkness.

Priorities

I recently took this Tibetan personality test on-line and came out with some interesting results that really made me think. One set of results came out with me rating my career as my last priority. The interesting thing is that this result really didn't surprise me and that made me think about why?

I love what I do--being a massage therapist and reiki master/teacher. I was recently asked "if you could do anything, without failure and with unlimited resources, what would it be?" And, much to my delight, my answer was "exactly what I'm doing now." I asked myself that same question 5 years ago as I left my corporate job...and here I am! I have diligently put one foot in front of the other, maintaining my faith during the challenging times, always knowing that this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Yet I realized that it's not about my career. I am so thankful that this is what I get to do to make money, but as far as priorities go--it's about the relationships. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to be in so many people's lives, or to have so many wonderful people in mine. (I'd like to say to have a positive influence, although I'm sure that's not always the case--but we grow from all experiences, right?) Through massage, reiki, teaching, conversations, laughter...and I'm beginning to see that expanding far beyond my career; I could be doing that in any career and with anyone--friends, family, strangers, clients, coworkers, etc.

Any interaction with another being gives me the chance to share love, compassion, understanding and peace. So really, it's relationships that surround all of my priorities--even above and beyond "pride"--which incidentally came out as my first priority--but that's a whole other blog!

The Wind

I'm sitting outside this morning, so grateful that the heat of the past few days has subsided a bit. Nature is my most favorite place to practice presence--to move out of my mind and into feeling the energy of my body through being completely aware of my senses. There is so much to absorb. Sounds of the birds, the wind, the crickets, the cars driving by, the bees buzzing around flowers. Sight of the leaves and branches twisting, turning and dancing as the breeze picks up; cardinals, blue jays, robins flying about; the many shades of green from grass to flowers to trees; the vibrant blue of a cloudless sky. The way the wind feels as it gently caresses my skin; the coolness of the shade and the warmth of the sun. The smell of freshly cut lawn as the breeze carries it over from the neighbors yard.

And all the while, I'm drawn to the wind. I'm sure there's some scientific explanation as to how and why it works...but I much prefer the mystery of it all. It fascinates me that you can't actually see the wind, only the effects of it. I am in awe of how something that can't be seen can be so gentle and yet so powerful at times; how the absence of wind can make a hot day more stifling or a cold day less bitter; how it can cause massive destruction or be harnessed to move a boat, fly a kite, or light a city. Oh, and of course, how it spreads the seeds of the much loved dandelion! ;-)